Perfect description here. I work at a bank. Not a branch, thankfully. But the underlying theme of it being a place of lost time and energy on meaningless things is absolutely present across all banking centers and high rises every day they are open. Money finds a way.
There are Carls, Brendas and Scrub Ladies in every bank. Every day.
If you think you need to go into a bank, even for something as benign as a roll of quarters for parking or laundry, I’m here to tell you, find another way. Whatever it takes. Hand washing your skivvies in a rusty wash basin. Driving to Canada to buy Canadian quarters which still work in some meters and machines.
Unless you enjoy wasting your own time. And in that case, ask the head teller if they have any openings. I they don’t, I guarantee by the end of the week they will.
"Roll of quarters" reminds of when I stopped by a branch to get some coinage and the line was definitely held up by something crazy. Before I even had time to figure it out, the security guard approached and was like, "Hetly boss, what you here for?" and I said, "Just need some quarters and nickels" and he responded, "I gotcha" and just went and grabbed them for me and we swapped the currency right there. I guess the other people in line needed legit teller stuff.
Coinage could be a vending machine, let's be clear.
Yes. Love that the security guard moonlights as a mobile teller. 😆
To your point, there are MANY things at a bank that could be a vending machine. I could introduce you to some managing directors who’d be outperformed by vending machines.
Perhaps Brenda is an alien, looking for open-minded earthlings. Weather-balloon Carl an obvious alien misinformation agent. Scrubs lady an undercover recruiter, finding humans to do the alien spaceship dirty jobs on a minimum wage.
In my mind, Carl is the "well ackchyually..." guy. Fun read!
And physical banking may still be better, at least more entertaining, than being sent from one employee to the next in a kind of loop in an online call mishmash.
The biggest needs we have is to connect, talk, be acknowledged, appreciated, loved. These needs are not being met in anyway shape or form. What you experienced was a fleeing moment of human connection. Treasure it.
I don't know if this is an account of an actual event, or an analogy for the world wide web, but reading this made me feel less alone in the world as it vindicates my current feels while I read Substack articles. (Interestingly, my autocorrect is jumping in, ironically changing "Substack" to "substance" in an attempt to further antagonize me!)
Like a wreck in the middle of a 500 mile NASCAR event, this jarred me from mindless scrolling, desperate for another hit of some distant recollection of pleasure once experienced on this app. Now I can put my phone down for the day (longer, I hope) since you have filled me with a pleasant glow in my heart that I know better than to try to top. Thank you!
May your day be as good as you've just made mine :)
I think I'm on Scrubs Lady's side just on principle and mostly because Carl annoys me and I haven't even met him.
No free lolly? You earned it, Princess Andromeda.
Perfect description here. I work at a bank. Not a branch, thankfully. But the underlying theme of it being a place of lost time and energy on meaningless things is absolutely present across all banking centers and high rises every day they are open. Money finds a way.
There are Carls, Brendas and Scrub Ladies in every bank. Every day.
If you think you need to go into a bank, even for something as benign as a roll of quarters for parking or laundry, I’m here to tell you, find another way. Whatever it takes. Hand washing your skivvies in a rusty wash basin. Driving to Canada to buy Canadian quarters which still work in some meters and machines.
Unless you enjoy wasting your own time. And in that case, ask the head teller if they have any openings. I they don’t, I guarantee by the end of the week they will.
"Roll of quarters" reminds of when I stopped by a branch to get some coinage and the line was definitely held up by something crazy. Before I even had time to figure it out, the security guard approached and was like, "Hetly boss, what you here for?" and I said, "Just need some quarters and nickels" and he responded, "I gotcha" and just went and grabbed them for me and we swapped the currency right there. I guess the other people in line needed legit teller stuff.
Coinage could be a vending machine, let's be clear.
Yes. Love that the security guard moonlights as a mobile teller. 😆
To your point, there are MANY things at a bank that could be a vending machine. I could introduce you to some managing directors who’d be outperformed by vending machines.
My "we are not alone" conversations would happen at a cheese vendor at the farmer's market.
Perhaps Brenda is an alien, looking for open-minded earthlings. Weather-balloon Carl an obvious alien misinformation agent. Scrubs lady an undercover recruiter, finding humans to do the alien spaceship dirty jobs on a minimum wage.
https://ia600500.us.archive.org/13/items/calibre_library_68.132.22.122.231/The%20Sirens%20of%20Titan%20-%20Kurt%20Vonnegut_806.pdf
Next time stick to safe topics … like contrails.
In my mind, Carl is the "well ackchyually..." guy. Fun read!
And physical banking may still be better, at least more entertaining, than being sent from one employee to the next in a kind of loop in an online call mishmash.
People still go inside banks? I thought only bank employees and bank robbers did that these days.
The biggest needs we have is to connect, talk, be acknowledged, appreciated, loved. These needs are not being met in anyway shape or form. What you experienced was a fleeing moment of human connection. Treasure it.
I believe in aliens but do not believe you were able to close a bank account in 20 minutes.
I believe the flickering of fluorescent lights is used to control our brains.
Seems accurate
I don't know if this is an account of an actual event, or an analogy for the world wide web, but reading this made me feel less alone in the world as it vindicates my current feels while I read Substack articles. (Interestingly, my autocorrect is jumping in, ironically changing "Substack" to "substance" in an attempt to further antagonize me!)
Like a wreck in the middle of a 500 mile NASCAR event, this jarred me from mindless scrolling, desperate for another hit of some distant recollection of pleasure once experienced on this app. Now I can put my phone down for the day (longer, I hope) since you have filled me with a pleasant glow in my heart that I know better than to try to top. Thank you!
May your day be as good as you've just made mine :)
😊 to many more good days 🍻
Hi, I'm a Carl and have all my hair at 68 years old. All people working inside of bank buildings are lizard creatures
Carl! 😭
We are not a loon.
This made me laugh, and I appreciate that very much.