I’m Australian. Our Larrys are handprint sized and can run at about 20 mph. They do struggle with body dismorphia and abandonment though so like… empathy.
🤣 Fantastic read, and I can relate. I had a pet, "Spidey", he lived in my bathroom for a few weeks and I would talk to him also. One fateful day I had the guy over that I was dating, he excused himself to use the bathroom.And then I heard a loud thump. I went running in there to discover that he had killed Spidey! He was all proud of himself, until I started screaming at the top of my lungs and told him to get the hell out of my house, and broke up with him on the spot!
Larry Has got a promotion at work a nice apartment and now cycles a fixie to his job. Hes hitting the gym and installing all the apps. Samantha ( his ex ) Can eat it.
It’s 11:38 AM central time and you’ve only gotten 30 likes off of this?!
What’s the matter with these people?
I am your soulmate. I make stories about everything and sometimes others find it inappropriate. Too bad for them I say.
I have just recently said goodbye to a therapist. She does not like the fact that I turn my life into stories. She says I “re-traumatize myself “
After thinking about that, I told a few friends about it.
What I had told my therapist is as follows:
Since January, this is what my life has been like. I was standing on the coast of Japan in the beginning of the year. A huge tsunami came and picked me up and threw me into the Pacific Ocean and hit me with every thing the ocean could hit me with animals , flotsam and jetsam. At last it threw me up on the West Coast of the United States. And in one final swosh left me in the Midwest. I’m fine now.
If I was at home I’d upload a pic of my spider currently residing in a web complex in the lower corner of a sliding window (always locked, never opened)
If I were to give her a nickname it would be Slayer as there are at least a dozen large fly corpses littering the window track.
I watched her last night poking and laying down reinforcing webs to ensure her latest victim had no chance of escape
The almost plaintive sounds of the buzzing wings steadily diminished as her prodding and binding sealed the fly’s gruesome fate—being kept alive while being slowly drained of life
Hogarth lived in the perfect spot to catch bugs, near a space in the window... But then my cat became a kaiju and smacked him a few times. He hid and wasn't hurt, but decided to leave in the night :(
I have befriended all the spiders in the courtyard outside my front door. Some are large, orange and mildly terrifying, some are false windows and some are species I've never seen before. But I'm concerned about all of them. Are they eating? Can they survive the rain/wind? What about the heat? Last night, I was happily watching one repair her web, and she suddenly froze and fell - I couldn't see where she went and I've worried about her all day. I'm just about to go and see if she reappeared so keep your fingers crossed. Spider-fondness is amazing.
As Larry can tell you, dating as a single dad often results in “play dates” with single moms. After a few play dates, hiding under someone’s commode starts to look like a pretty good deal.
I’m kinda disappointed with Linda. I mean, come on, it wasn’t Larry’s fault a storm blew through and destroyed their web. Seriously, what’s a spider to do? Sure maybe they reconciled, but I think Larry deserves better than Linda, even if she is his babies momma.
You and my mother would have got on! Gave a name and personality to every creature, great or small.
I’m Australian. Our Larrys are handprint sized and can run at about 20 mph. They do struggle with body dismorphia and abandonment though so like… empathy.
No thank you with your scary wildlife there. I do love those cute wombats though
🤣 Fantastic read, and I can relate. I had a pet, "Spidey", he lived in my bathroom for a few weeks and I would talk to him also. One fateful day I had the guy over that I was dating, he excused himself to use the bathroom.And then I heard a loud thump. I went running in there to discover that he had killed Spidey! He was all proud of himself, until I started screaming at the top of my lungs and told him to get the hell out of my house, and broke up with him on the spot!
Larry Has got a promotion at work a nice apartment and now cycles a fixie to his job. Hes hitting the gym and installing all the apps. Samantha ( his ex ) Can eat it.
I can relate to all of this. Thanks for sharing.
Love Larry…his last name should be Haggard…but only cause now I’m emotionally invested too 🤣❤️
🤗
It’s 11:38 AM central time and you’ve only gotten 30 likes off of this?!
What’s the matter with these people?
I am your soulmate. I make stories about everything and sometimes others find it inappropriate. Too bad for them I say.
I have just recently said goodbye to a therapist. She does not like the fact that I turn my life into stories. She says I “re-traumatize myself “
After thinking about that, I told a few friends about it.
What I had told my therapist is as follows:
Since January, this is what my life has been like. I was standing on the coast of Japan in the beginning of the year. A huge tsunami came and picked me up and threw me into the Pacific Ocean and hit me with every thing the ocean could hit me with animals , flotsam and jetsam. At last it threw me up on the West Coast of the United States. And in one final swosh left me in the Midwest. I’m fine now.
And that’s when she said what she said.
🥰
If I was at home I’d upload a pic of my spider currently residing in a web complex in the lower corner of a sliding window (always locked, never opened)
If I were to give her a nickname it would be Slayer as there are at least a dozen large fly corpses littering the window track.
I watched her last night poking and laying down reinforcing webs to ensure her latest victim had no chance of escape
The almost plaintive sounds of the buzzing wings steadily diminished as her prodding and binding sealed the fly’s gruesome fate—being kept alive while being slowly drained of life
🕷️Waa-waa-wah Go Slayer
Hogarth lived in the perfect spot to catch bugs, near a space in the window... But then my cat became a kaiju and smacked him a few times. He hid and wasn't hurt, but decided to leave in the night :(
I would never kill a spider but I might need to start naming them. Loved this, thank you 🤣
😊😬🙃
I have befriended all the spiders in the courtyard outside my front door. Some are large, orange and mildly terrifying, some are false windows and some are species I've never seen before. But I'm concerned about all of them. Are they eating? Can they survive the rain/wind? What about the heat? Last night, I was happily watching one repair her web, and she suddenly froze and fell - I couldn't see where she went and I've worried about her all day. I'm just about to go and see if she reappeared so keep your fingers crossed. Spider-fondness is amazing.
I hope she’s okay 😭
She is! 😁 Making a web exactly where she should be - so relieved! 😊
🥰🤗
I already miss Larry.
Love this xxx
As Larry can tell you, dating as a single dad often results in “play dates” with single moms. After a few play dates, hiding under someone’s commode starts to look like a pretty good deal.
We had a spider, Tony, years back. Stayed around for 3 weeks before ghosting us. The corner near the toilet paper holder just feels emptier now.
I’m kinda disappointed with Linda. I mean, come on, it wasn’t Larry’s fault a storm blew through and destroyed their web. Seriously, what’s a spider to do? Sure maybe they reconciled, but I think Larry deserves better than Linda, even if she is his babies momma.